Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
