I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
