She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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