I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
