You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
