I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
