He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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