Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just threw up on my dentist
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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