No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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