me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
