I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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