another moral hangover. fuck.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
