how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
