Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
