So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
