he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they're like a gay fantastic four
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
