I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
