i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
