This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
