READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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