love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
