Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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