Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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