Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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