I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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