Who wears a wallet chain?!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
