Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
