I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize