Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
