Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
