that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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