why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
