You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize