Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize