I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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