Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
