Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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