I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
