I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
