her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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