Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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