The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
