Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize