Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am available for nakedness
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
