i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
