I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize