Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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