What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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