I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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