Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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