Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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