How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
