How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
