no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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