Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize