you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
