did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
time to smoke my breakfast
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
