she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
