My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
