Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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