Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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