The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
