I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
