Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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