Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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