Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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