PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
