so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
